Sunday, December 7, 2008

Too Cute!

My daughter is 13 months old and she doesn't really talk yet. Occasionally you can make out a word, but I am never sure if I actually heard her say a word or if I am imagining it, besides Mama, Dada, Ba (for ball and anything else that starts with "B-A-", and Mmmm (for a cow's moo). But TODAY was different.

KD loves our dog, she laughs every time she is around him and he puts up with a lot from her (thank goodness). Today she was looking out the sliding glass door and laughing. I looked outside to see what it was and it was our dog. She tapped the glass with the palm of her tiny hand and said, "Doggie" very clearly and slowly. It was so cute! She must have wanted him to come back inside to play. (He was busy burying a new bone I gave him.) Its very rare that I get to hear her form an actual word so clearly, so I am a bit excited. (If you couldn't tell.)

JD (my pilot husband) just left on Friday for his 35 days of work far away from us. It was nice though, this last time he came home early and then they rotated his shift to start 5 days later, so that was MORE bonus time home with us. So I can't really complain. When he is home its like I am on vacation. He lets me sleep in, he feeds the dog and the bunny for me, he does all the laundry and half the cooking and so much more. I must admit I get a bit lazy after all that time he is home doing what I normally do while he is gone. And I let him do a lot of the baby stuff, because he likes being around her since he is away so much. But I suppose I deserve a break, after all I am living a "single-mom" life when he is gone. Its all on me. Well, actually I do have the help of my in-laws while he is gone too, but its not the same as having your husband around.

Another thing I get to do when he is home is pop out the door whenever I want to run errands and go grocery shopping. I don't have to worry about waiting for KD's nap to be over or if she has been fed or if she is going to get cranky while I am out. Its great. That luxury I definitely miss when he is gone. People have offered to watch her while I do things, but its hard to actually call up someone out of the blue and say, "Hey, could you come over for an hour and sit in my house while my baby sleeps so I can run some errands?" How many people can just drop what they are doing to do that? And if they are willing I guess I need to ask more often, but I don't know who is really all THAT willing. And then if she is awake I can just imaging her crying her head off, if I left her at a neighbor's house, the whole time because I left her alone there. Sometimes I end up feeling "trapped" at home. I am waiting for her to either wake up so I can go somewhere or go to sleep so I can go through the mail, look over my e-mail and blog, or even be able to cook something for myself to eat finally! But I am sure EVERY stay-at-home Mom goes through that to some degree, I don't think its really a "Pilot's wife" thing. Most Mom's actually never have their husbands home during the day to be able to pop in and out all they want. And if they do its not for a month straight! So I count myself lucky.

Now don't you wish you were me? hee hee

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Rude solicitor

I really really really hate door to door sales people. Okay, I don't hate the people but the whole experience just rubs me the wrong way. Its like getting a telemarketer experience face to face, and who wants that? They have this rehearsed speech they just start rattling off and you start to wonder, "Should I interrupt them because I know I am not going to buy anything, or should I wait until they are done to be polite and then politely say goodbye, or should I just say 'screw it' and hang up on them?" And its worse when they are standing in front of you and all you want to do is slam the door in their face. But I am not that person. My husband is really good at doing this. He says, "No thanks" before they even start talking, and as the person is trying to get him to listen to them he starts to shut the door and just keeps saying, "No thanks."

Well this particular day the baby was taking a nap in her room and my husband and I were sacked out on the couch in front of the TV. I was woken up by the dog barking and my husband telling him to be quiet. Then I heard, "HELLO!" coming through the front door. I didn't hear a doorbell ring or a knock, but there was definitely someone outside our door. My husband was unaware and still groggy so I got up to get the door. There was this young African American lady with a backpack standing there and talking very loudly as I opened the door, "HI HOW ARE YOU TODAY?" I replied with, "My baby is sleeping..." She cut me off with, "OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THE BABY WAS SLEEPING." (Well DUH!... I was thinking to myself. How would she know there was a baby in our home? I didn't expect her to KNOW, I just expected her to lower her volume.) So NOW I was getting annoyed. Then she goes into her sales mode and asks me, "Have you gone green?" as she waved around an empty water bottle in the air. And I said (shrugging my shoulders), "Like.... what?" (I was wondering if she meant recycling or what in the world else she could possibly mean by that, and what business of it was it of hers?) She asked if I had bought any "Green" cleaning products. I said yes, then she asked if it was a certain brand, then I said I don't know, and then she asked when I bought it, and then I told her about a month ago (I didn't really know how long ago it was... but wanted this conversation to go fast and to get her to leave.) She responded, "Oh, well it wasn't (blank) then." And the very next breath she started to tear into her prepared sales pitch. That just made me want to slam the door. I hate those canned, practiced speeches, where they don't take a breath so you can't put a word in edge wise. So to stop her before she told me her long sales pitch, knowing I was going to say "No thanks" in the end, I said, "I'm sorry..." And before I could say the rest of my thought (I was going to say, "I'm sorry, but I am just not interested in another cleaning product.") But after those two simple words "I'm sorry" she started getting rude. She said back to me with an attitude, "You're sorry? Why would you say you're sorry?" And I started to get stern with her and rose my finger at her and said, "I am saying 'I'm sorry' because I am not interested..." And she said, "I'm Sorry?! I am not begging, I don't need your money!" And I was just so upset with her at this point I started closing the door on her as she was ranting and raving away at me. As I closed the door I heard her still saying, "She's sorry?! Who does she think she is?'

Okay, so since when were the words "I'm sorry" rude? And I was in no way commenting on her being a beggar. Perhaps she thought because I was white I was being racist or something??? I don't know. But I was really annoyed and upset and hurt after she left. I am a NICE person. I am NOT rude. I am a very sensitive and loving individual. I do not like to be rude, I don't like confrontations, and this is the very reason I hate sales calls or solicitors. My husband is great, he doesn't care about people's feelings when they are on our property disturbing us. He doesn't feign interest when he's not interested. I guess the magical words are, "No thanks." And saying, "I'm sorry" as you are cutting someone off in mid speech is rude? That's WHY I was saying, "I'm sorry" because I was interrupting her. It was a way of saying, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear anything more out of your mouth. I'm sorry, I am not interested in talking about this anymore. I'm sorry, but I am going to close the door in your face now."

I just had to vent... "I'm sorry" hee hee ;-) I get all bent out of shape when I have these types of interactions with people. I don't like people accusing me of being rude or giving me attitude. I don't think I deserve it. Of course, as my husband said, I had the right to blow her off... she was on our property and I don't have to stand there and listen to any one's sales pitch if I don't want to. But I think too much of how I am coming across to people. I am too concerned with coming across as the nice person. But in this case it backfired on me and it put me in the most foul mood afterward. And I took out my anger on my husband with some attitude of my own. I quickly apologized, but he wasn't too happy that I was allowing her to effect me so much. I can't help it, that's just how I am. I am sensitive. I need to develop a thicker skin and I need to learn to just say, "No thank you" over and over again as I smile and shut the door in people's faces. But even that seems to rude to me. But its better than getting in an argument with someone. You give someone a little bit of interaction and pretty soon they are there in front of your door rattling off some long speech and whipping out bottles of cleaner and washing your windows etc. Its just ugly. And before you know it I am writing a check to get them off my front lawn. I use to do that with telemarketers. I would buy something to get them to go away, or I would listen to their whole long sales pitch and then say, "No thanks" over and over and then finally hang up on them in exasperation.

...HELP!!! I need your help! Tell me how to get a backbone and be firm with these people, get rid of them quickly, and not feel like a bad person while doing it. UGH! At least now there is a "No call list." So now with telemarketers I can just say, "We are on the no call list, if you call us again we will report you." Or I just say, "No thanks" and hang up while they are still talking. But with a live person standing in front of me I lose my cool. I don't know how to act or what to say that isn't offensive or rude but gets the point across that I am not interested in hearing any sales pitch and for them to go away. And those "NO SOLICITORS" signs are so ugly and my husband hasn't wanted them up on our house. But I don't know what else to do. At least then I could point to the sign and just then close the door (kind of like being on the no call list). What is my problem? Why do I need a sign?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Who knew?

Who knew excercising actually DOES make you feel better! And all this time I thought it was probably true, but never actually tried excercising when I was feeling down. But after going to the gym with a girlfriend of mine I felt extremely and downright happy! Cool! So, I guess I have a reason to keep going on a regular basis.

It helps to have a friend that is commited to working out like I am, as well. If she wasn't depending on me to meet her there at the gym then I could have easily come up with an excuse not to go at all the past few times. And we are also keeping an eye on each other's eating habits too, for accountability. Sounds scary, but it helps to know someone can see what you are eating at any time (we use an on-line calorie counting site).

Since the husband was gone this month and my family support down the street (the in-laws) were gone too, for about three weeks, I was feeling a bit more depressed than I was comfortable with. I am so glad that just working out for 30 minutes actually energized me and made me happy again! I didn't like the idea of seeking out professional help to get me to sleep at night and relieve my depression. I would rather not take medication if I can help it at all. (Not that it is bad to have to take medication, totally believe that some of my own family members are better off with it than without it. I just didn't want to go that route if there was an alternative.) Of course JD is happy about it too, he was getting concerned as well.

That is all I have to report for now...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Loneliness and Friends

I am thankful that I have friends in those times where I am home alone with my baby and I feel twinges of loneliness or have a case of the blues.

I was at home in bed, it was only six o' clock, and I knew I would need to get myself dinner at some point and get the baby once she woke up from her nap. So I started texting a friend of mine:

"I'm bored and lonely"
"I don't want to cook anything for myself"
"Perhaps I will just go to MacDonald's or something once the baby wakes up."
five minutes later...
"I am having tuna and crackers for dinner... no cooking required :-)"

Then my friend calls me after this series of messages and invites me to dinner with herself and her friend. I got the baby and went and we had a great time. The following day we went to dinner as well and then she and her friend and her friend's husband came over to my house to play some games after the baby went to bed for the night. I am thankful for a good friend like her who comes to my rescue at a moment's notice.

The next night I again was feeling down, so I called another friend of mine and he came over right away and watched TV with me and talked with me about whatever was on my mind. He is someone I am also thankful for, that when I was down he just dropped everything and came over to cheer me up. Plus, he is gay... so my husband doesn't have to worry about me being in the house alone with him ;-) But besides that fact, he is just an all around wonderful friend, and I appreciate him a lot.

I am glad I have such great friends in my life, to come rally around me when my husband is gone flying somewhere and I miss him so much. I am blessed.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

White legs

Well today has been interesting, and its not over yet, its only 1:30pm. My day started when I was woken up at 4am this morning by KD with only getting 2 hours of sleep at that point, I have trouble falling asleep before 2am... an insomnia problem that I have had for a while. Then after we both fell back asleep I was woken up again at 9:30am from a deep sleep by her crying... time to get up. I should have felt at least somewhat rested at that point, but I felt like I hadn't slept at all and could have stayed in bed all day... and perhaps I should have. But I had a lot to do today (still have more to do).

So... after I instant messaged my hubby in a far away country, I fed KD and got ready myself, then proceeded to pack the baby in the car and drive off down my neighborhood street. Half way down the street I realized I forgot my phone, and I decided I better get it just in case something happened while I was out and about and needed to call for help or a tow or some other horrible scenario. I pulled into the driveway over more to the right side than I usually do, and thought to myself, "You need to remember you are over more and to be careful when you back out of the driveway." But after I got my phone, locked the house back up, hopped back into the car and put it in reverse I just backed up with out a glance in my right side mirror. Needless to say, that wasn't a good idea. I ended up running into the corner of our white picket fence. I heard a big "CHRUNCH" and stopped... pulled forward a little... got out of the car to assess the damage, and then saw the right rear tail light lens broken up and all over the ground. Well... at least the bumper and the rest of the car wasn't damaged. "Phew!" But what a dumb thing that was to do. Luckily, I was actually on the way to the car dealership to pick up at part for the car anyways and have it installed. When I got to the dealer they had the tail lens in stock and were able to replace it right away. Now all I have to worry about is the broken fence post.

I instant messaged JD to let him know that I had just cost us some unnecessary expense. He wasn't mad, but I felt like an air headed buffoon at this point. Then the day just kept getting better and better (insert sarcastic tone). I hadn't eaten lunch yet and decided to go across the street from the car dealer to Quiznos (a sandwich place). As I was I.M.-ing JD about the car and waiting for the cross walk to tell me to "walk" I realized I had the key to the car in my pocket. So I walked back over to the dealership and put the key back in the car, went back over to the cross walk and proceeded to Quiznos. When I got to the door of Quiznos it said they were closed and the place was empty inside... like they had moved out completely! I was so jittery and hungry at this point that I was starting to feel like the day just wasn't meant to go my way.

I then spotted a Togo's kitty corner from where I was (another sandwich place) so I proceeded to cross the street to go there. As I was crossing the street... again... a guy in a truck leaned out his window and said, "Get a tan, why don't you!" (or something to that effect) and I just smirked at him and shook my head and under my breath said, "whatever... jerk." I know, not very nice on my part either... but I was already having a bad day and this guy was being an idiot (so forgive me). And I was pushing my baby in a stroller across the street... like who cares if I have white legs? Who makes a comment like that to a mother pushing her baby in a cross walk? Just save your breath or keep it to yourself. I mean really, was that necessary?

You see, I live in Southern California... so apparently its a crime against humanity to have white legs here. Its so ridiculous. I call it white prejudism.. or reverse prejudice. I am sick of my easily tanned and Hispanic friends looking at my legs and saying, "why are your legs so white?", and strangers thinking that I am a freak for daring to even think of wearing shorts with white legs. I mean... God forbid I do such a horrendous thing! Its just a fact of life, my legs have never tanned. They hardly even pick up a sunburn. I'm WHITE people... get a clue! I don't have any dark skinned genes in my family (wish I did, it would be nice to look tan all year round). And skin cancer runs in my family, so I am not about to attempt to lay in the sun for hours and get a tan anyways. And, yes, I have tried the spray on tan stuff, but it wears off in a few days and I am not trying to impress anybody. I just stay at home with the baby all day, I am sure she could care less what color her Mommy's legs are. And my husband doesn't care... he is just as white as I am, plus he hates the smell of that spray tan stuff when I use it. And he thinks I am beautiful the way I am. I have accepted the fact that I will never be a brown goddess, tanned, ideal California girl. And I can give my naturally tan friends a hard time and joke about their being "prejudice" (ha ha)... but when a stranger yells it out a window at me... that is just mean. Okay... I am over it now. Thanks for letting me vent.

But that's not all! When I got to Togo's I dropped my cup twice, the baby started getting restless and crying... so I scarfed down the second half of my sandwich and left as soon as I could. And did I mention, it was so bloomin' hot outside! I had pit marks from my sweat (not a pretty picture) and I am sure my face was beet red (as it always gets when I am hot). When I got back to the dealership waiting room KD decided to throw a mini tantrum when I didn't let her walk into an area I didn't think she should go. And then later when I got my car I dropped my keys on the ground, I mean total butter fingers all day. I was happy to run home and just not do anything... accept write this blog while KD takes a nap. Maybe I need a nap too, so I can wake up again and start over. After all... I do have to head out again for more errands today, and I don't want to get into any more accidents. My experience at the dealership wasn't exactly something I wish to repeat either. Oh well, that is just how life is sometimes. I guess I just should laugh at it all and take a deep breath. But writing about it and complaining just a tad helps too ;-)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Cat check!

So I was having a great time, laughing and playing games with my gal pals at the cabin, when I got a phone call from my Dad. Thankfully I got cell phone reception while up there in the mountains. My Grandmother wasn't doing well and he suggested I call her after we hung up. I did, and I am glad I did because two days later I got a call from him again that she had passed away. She was 94, so she had lived a long life. But its a bitter sweet thing when someone you love dies, even if they are elderly and in pain. I would have rather she died in her sleep one day, painlessly, when she was 100 years old or something. But that wasn't God's plan. I am glad I got to tell her one last time, "I love you" and that through the drugged up fog (from pain killers) she got the message and said, "I love you too."

Another reason to be happy is that for her 94th birthday I was able to take my new baby girl on a road trip with my husband to visit her (that is a photo from our visit). I had also thought to take video of her interacting with KD for my baby to be able to see what her Great Grandmother was like when they met. My Grandma was a funny lady. I always laughed when she sent me e-mails, such a great sense of humor. I remember after her second hip replacement surgery she announced that she was now a "hip-py" and then put on an orange wig and sent a picture out to everyone that showed her wearing it and holding up a peace sign and a big grin. It was so silly you just had to laugh. She also was always positive, no matter what. Such a great quality that I wish I possessed. She always had a smile on her face, had nice things to say about the worst people, and told the best anecdotes.

Here are a couple of her silly stories from some e-mails I saved from her: BTW... she always typed in all caps so she could read what she was writing. I have kept the font size and the typing as she wrote it.

So, remember to do a "cat check" when you take a bath, in the memory of my Grandma. And its okay to laugh while you do... all the better to honor her memory. :-)

Friday, September 26, 2008


I am exhausted... without JD around to help with the baby she is in tow with me for all my errands. And today I had a lot! I got so peeved when I realized I had to go get the car filled with gas (because I am going to the cabin with my gal pals) and it was already approaching KD's sleep time, and when I got to the pump and swiped my credit card it wouldn't read it. So I had to un-buckle the baby and get her out of her car seat, go inside with the card, go back to the pump and try not to get her near the nozzle (I didn't see the point of putting her back in the seat when I had to go back in the retrieve my card), then go back in and sign the receipt and buckle up the baby again... (I had already dragged her in and out of the car seat a few times by this point and was getting tired of all the in and out and juggling her along with bags and boxes etc.), I was just so tired at this point in the day. I was and am still going on 4 hours of sleep and didn't get a chance to take a nap.

Today I had to make sure the house was ready to be left for a week and that the person coming to take care of my dog had clear instructions on where things were and what I needed her to do... and I had to make an exchange to get KD the right age medicine (because she is teething, and I didn't want to run out of Tylenol while at the cabin if she got cranky and I had grabbed the stuff for toddlers, not babies), drop some things off at various locations and then at home make sure I had everything packed that I needed. I also did these errands in shifts around her nap times. And after my final errands, by the time I got the baby home she was not ready to go to bed yet, I had to bathe her still (she was filthy... food in the hair, black soles from dirty floors, etc.) and then get her all wound down and give her a bottle and try to get her to go to sleep. She went down around an hour after her normal time, that just pushed all my double checking and organizing duties to later in the evening and no relaxing time for me. And I was looking forward to sitting down for a while. Well... its getting late and I need to get ready for bed.

At least I have a wonderful week to look forward to with my friends. That will be a nice little vacation, and time away from the regular going-ons of life.

Oh... and did I mention, I found huge cockroach running across my kitchen counters at 3am when I went to make my crying baby a bottle! Yuck! I had to smash it with a nearby shoe and almost hurled... ewwwwwe!!! Now that's when you really miss your husband, for bug smashing and getting cockroach hotels for them to eat and die and go away.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Husband gone

So the husband just left, and I feel bad for him (because he kept on saying, "I don't want to go, I don't want to go...") but this time I am glad he left. I had plans for this weekend to leave for a stay at a cabin with some friends for over a week, and I didn't want to cancel them. Makes me feel bad for actually wanting him to leave, but "oh well!" I love him, but I need my girl time too. I am actually very excited to be going, I am all packed and ready.

Ah... the baby has awakened. More on my mixed feelings of happiness and sadness later.

"Husband gone continued"... 9:28pm

Okay, so as I was saying... I am going to miss my husband and I feel bad that he has a few long layovers that he hates and that he is going to be smushed in an over-crowded plane and that he for some reason can't sleep when he is on a plane and... you get the picture. He was hoping that he would be flying back to work in a new plane for their fleet (flying it himself), and that he was going to be home an extra week, or at least a few extra days. He was mostly hoping for this because he was taken away for an extra 8 days for training during his time home (they take training out of his home time and not out of his work time for some reason). And I agreed that it would be wonderful for him to have that extra week home and to be able to fly their new plane back, instead of being smushed in coach unable to sleep... but like I was saying... I had a week all planned out to go to the cabin with my nearest and dearest girlfriends two days after his regular scheduled day to go back to work!

So I felt for him, but I was a bit torn because I was looking at the possibility of canceling on my friends to be with him, but now I am SO HAPPY he is gone! The plane wasn't ready when they thought it would be and now my previously stressed out friends, that thought I was going to drive them to the cabin and be hanging out with them with NO BOYS allowed, are EXCITED that I am joining them again. Yippee!!!! I really hated jerking them around with all the drama... "he may be home for an additional week... now it may be just a few days longer at home... ok now he is leaving when we thought he would be and I am coming." But welcome to the world of a pilot's wife! Where all your best laid plans go to hell and you are left with a pile of disappointment... or you are ecstatically happy that everything actually worked out as you had hoped! Yep, that's the pilot's wife's life. Aren't you jealous? And you thought it was all... free tickets, and Hawaiian vacations, and loads of money... didn't you? NOT! Beware, if you are dating or planning on marrying a pilot, you need to be prepared to be jerked around a lot. It just happens in this particular case I am actually happy he is leaving me and not staying home for an extra un-planned week. I would be totally bummed right now if I didn't have those plans, I am almost sure of it ;-)

My First Rambling...

I tend to ramble on and on when I write... so I thought the title of my Blog should have the word "rambling" in it somewhere. I am a pilot's wife (so that was an obvious addition to the title), I am a mother of an 11 months old girl (currently), and I have a BA degree in Interior Design but at the moment I am a stay-at-home-Mom.

My husband wishes me to not put any super specific information about him, his, job or about our family because he doesn't know who is going to see and read my blog. So forgive me for not posting pictures or anything else super specific. I think I will refer to myself as AD, my husband as JD, and my daughter as KD... its our initials (duh!) and I think that is safe enough. I will say I live in Southern California, that is probably helpful to know but no one can "stalk" me using that information. I guess anything else pertinent to know I will add as we go along.

My husband is a pilot for a charter company, not an airline, and he is gone for 35 days at a time, and home for 31 days. But I cannot divulge his specific whereabouts or the company he works for, so don't ask ;-) He does make enough money with his current job for me to stay home with the baby, who is becoming less of a baby every day. I have no inkling of desire to work at the moment, so I am happy to be home with the baby and raise her. I am glad that I don't have that desire, like some other women have, so I can be happy at home. Don't get me wrong, when I worked I loved it, and I was looking forward to doing more with my BA degree in Interior Design and furthering that career. But once the baby came and JD got his job offer that allowed me to quit my job I jumped on the chance! And for now I am going to be a mom and just focus on that. The rest will come in due time, and I am sure I will be sucessful in the future as an Interior Designer when my children (this includes the future child I am hoping to have in a couple years) start going to school. I do have my business cards out there still, and occasionally get a call for a quote or a question on pricing for someone's friend, mother, or client. But I am not advertising my Interior Design business at this time.

Well, I think that is good enough rambling for now. Thanks for reading my blog!