Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Scheduling Time for Sanity

I have decided, until I know for sure about the move to Saudi and JD's job, I need to make some plans that will keep me sane until the baby is born, and the couple months following. I know for sure we aren't moving until baby boy is born, so why not do something about the here and now?

Recently I have felt more lonely and even bored when JD leaves. Usually I am pretty independent, don't mind the alone time, and even enjoy that at night I can type away on my computer in bed without bothering him, or keep the TV on at a level where I can actually hear my recorded TV shows, and not hear him snoring louder than either of those activities. But I think pregnancy, combined with the fact that I have a very active toddler on my hands, has made me a bit more needy for companionship than usual.

I have put out an "APB" to four Moms to schedule in play dates with me once a week during the 35 day rotations Jason is gone... for the couple months left before baby is due that he is gone and one more rotation that he is gone shortly after the baby is born. For my own sanity I believe this is necessary. I am trying to find a pre-school for KD to attend during the week, and the one that I really want her to go to hasn't gotten back to me yet... and I know there is a waiting list. I also am looking into the local city community guide, that we get in the mail, for some activities I can sign KD up for that will fill her time. I've done one class with her before and she loved it. But besides KD needing some stimulation I need some too! I thought of four Moms that I like to hang out with and talk to that have kids that like to play with KD. So far two have replied and will get back to me with some dates to hang out. That is a good start.

And besides those four Moms I have my in-laws next door. Sometimes they can help out, and sometimes they can't. They aren't retired and have stuff of their own to attend to. But today my MIL called to say she can watch KD from 11:30am to 2pm for me, and the break was nice. So, I can count on her for times I need occasional alone time. And I have a neighbor that I can run over to anytime they are home and their two girls love to play with KD. They are very hospitable. So, I don't have to schedule anything for them really. If I am bored and need to visit with someone I can just walk next door and see if they are home, or call to see if its a good time for a visit. So those are two more people that I have as "flexible" play dates, or people to go to for "me time".

I am also thinking of asking my in-laws if they can take KD for an overnight once a week to give me a break and one night of assured rest. But I may not ask until I really feel I need that. right now its mostly during the day that I need some distractions from the fact that my husband isn't home. I already have a friend lined up for July to come over 4 nights a week and help with dinner and getting KD up in the morning before she goes to work. (I am paying her.) That will be my 8th month of pregnancy. So, perhaps the in-laws can help out that month as well and do the overnight idea. We will see.

Well... that is the plan to keep me sane over the next 4 months and the 2 months following after the baby is born. Sounds like a good one to me :-) Then after that I can think of how to keep my sanity with a new baby and a toddler in Saudi Arabia... YIKES! If that even happens.

Friday, April 16, 2010

More on the Move

So... I've been pondering this move and all the pros and cons that come with moving to Saudi Arabia. And no matter how many cons are stacked against it the pros still are stronger than any con I can come up with.

The pros for my husbands career are blaring at us and are obviously the best thing for him to do... of course he hasn't gotten an official offer yet, and until that happens all my thoughts about this move are still just a practice in theory. And I know if JD could get a job that didn't require him to move us to Saudi he would do it in a second. But no other opportunity is going to be coming our way (as far as we know) that provides us with the income and stability and set him up as wonderfully for his career in the future as this job opportunity will provide. That is a huge part of this whole decision.

The pros for me is that I will see my husband more if I move to Saudi. If I stay in the States I will never know when I will see him, since he won't have a rotation schedule and the times off won't be worth the travel back and forth from California to Saudi. And there is no "pro" that is stronger than keeping the family unit close together. I can't be without my husband indefinitely and I can't do that to our kids either. My kids need their Daddy in their life more than anyone else in the world, including Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, or friends. Even though extended family is a blessing to have around its not the MOST important relationship compared to the one with their own Daddy.

I can think of a hundred things in a day that I would miss doing, or having, or people I would miss seeing, but nothing can keep me here over being with my husband. That is the bottom line for me. There is no other choice to make but to move to Saudi. So, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, or what sacrifices I will have to make, I have to do it. I just simply HAVE to. And I am not unhappy about that either. I am not bitter about it. I am actually at peace about that decision. It feels right in my bones, in my gut... and the same goes for JD.

So, for now... we wait. But I really think that this job offer will come by the end of the year and the move by the first couple months of next year the latest. I hate waiting for life changing news, this is going to stink. But I suppose the longer the wait for the offer the more time we have to research things and to get questions answered as they pop up and to be prepared. But... I still hate waiting ;-)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Possible Move

I know I am not the first pilot's wife to have to consider the real possibility of uprooting from my home and move to a foreign country, but its all new to me. JD may be getting a new job in the next few months that would require us all to move to Saudi Arabia. That would be quite a change! Not my first choice in foreign countries to live in either.

He is working for a company that is in that area already, but he has a rotation of 35 days working and 30 days home, so it didn't make any sense to uproot me and the family when he is pretty much home half the time. This new job wouldn't have more than one crew to man the one plane they have, so he would be on call and therefore no rotation schedule. The good thing is that a good friend of his has accepted the Director of Operations position there, so he is second in command. And that means he would be hiring JD and negotiating his contract, so we would be taken care of and not have to worry about the horrible politics that are going on with his current company. Plus, his current company seem to not be doing too well financially and who knows how secure his job or pay or current rotation schedule would be if he stayed? And the new company is just starting up, so JD would be on the top of the seniority list, and that is always a good thing.

But this is such a new thing for me that I had a million questions about what it would be like if we moved. I don't like the idea of leaving friends and family and all the comforts of home, but we are talking about it being only a year to 3 years at most. So, really... its short term. He would get great experience in a bigger plane and a possible future move to management within the company, when they need a training captain. This would make him very marketable here in the USA. That is all good stuff. And I suppose if I have to suck it up for a few years in the best interest of our family and JD's career I will do it. What's most important is my family being together as much as possible and to look towards the future and do what will benefit us the most there as well.

Too many things going through my brain to process and write down. I will have to write more later when it all congeals a bit more.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It's a......!!

Saturday night we had our "Baby Gender Reveal Party" and I found out the gender of my baby finally. JD found out last Monday at the ultrasound and decided on a way to surprise me at the party. He was actually quite clever about it. And while waiting to find out the news, and as all our friends were asking, "Do you know the sex yet?" I felt like I was in labor and everyone was in the waiting room or sitting by the phone to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

We had dinner with family and then waited for some of our close friends to come over later (they had other plans that kept them from arriving for dinner). They had some late dinner and then finally everyone had eaten and I motioned to JD to get the ball rolling. He handed me a pen and a paper and passed out eggs to our guests that he had put either a pink ring or a blue ring into. I kept a tally of how many pink vs. how many blue rings there were as people opened their eggs. JD had enough for a couple rounds, so the second round I got really confused because some people started telling me both colors they had gotten and I had no idea what color that had given me first. JD was very pleased at the confusion. He asked me how many I had of each, I showed 9 blue and 10 pink, he said there should be 9 blue and 9 pink. Then he handed KD, our two year old, the final egg that would reveal the gender.

When she opened the egg I called her over to see what color the ring was, when I looked in her hands she was holding a toy airplane, not a ring. Most people were like, "What does that mean?" But I knew it meant we are having a boy. I said, "It's a boy!" and everyone got all excited and cheered. My Dad was actually the only other one who got the plane reference as meaning specifically "boy." My friends were confused by the color, it looked blue and pink and yellow in the lighting we had, and they were looking for something either blue or pink. So it was perfect, the way the whole thing happened. Everyone was in anticipation, got confused, didn't know what was going on, and in the end I was the one who got to break the news to everyone.

Isn't my husband clever? I loved how it all happened. All my fears about hearing "boy" or "girl" and if I was going to feel any disappiointment didn't happen. And the surprise element was definitely there and a close second to finding out on the day of the baby's birth. I am happy we have our boy, I know my husband was really wanting a boy and I don't plan on getting pregnant again, I am done at two. So, this way I know we are both happy, I got my girl first, then he got his boy. And now, as they say, we have a "perfect set." haha... like we are buying a salt and pepper shaker set. But I must say I am very happy to have one of each gender. I feel like we are really done with having kids and there is no question as to whether we should try for another child later. It feels like our family is very complete and well balanced. God has blessed us.