Sunday, July 25, 2010

Bad Preggie Day

Thursday I woke up and took KD to Vacation Bible School (VBS) at church. I started having a Braxton Hicks contraction as soon as I dropped her off. BH contractions usually don't happen to me until around 6pm at night. They have been doing that pretty steadily for around a month now. It freaked me out at first, that I was doing to much... but they seemed to come whether or not I did a lot that day or did nothing. So I just gave into the fact that that was going to be happening on a regular basis. Fortunately I have had help for most of July, while JD is gone, in the evenings. A friend has been staying with me and helping with dinner, cleaning dishes, picking up toys, wiping down surfaces with cleansers that I wish to not inhale right now, and giving KD her baths and getting her in her PJs. All stuff that adds up to a lot for me right now.

Anyways, as I was saying... Thursday the BHs were coming every hour or so and only would go away if I laid down. I picked up KD from VBS at noon and then after lunch we both took a long nap. That evening happened to be one where my friend wasn't going to be home until late. So, I was trying my best to cope with the stomach tightening at every move and feeding KD and getting her ready for bed. But when it got to be KD's bed time I couldn't even bend down to get her PJs on her and I just sat down in the rocking recliner in the living room. She was playing around me, having a good time, and as my stomach was tightening she ran over to me and simply bent her head down and tapped into my hands that were laying on my belly. The simple tap of her head sent this searing pain through my belly and I just had to cry. I couldn't help it, it hurt that much! Poor kid, she said sorry and gave me kisses, and wiped tears off my cheek. (She is so stinkin' sweet.) I assured her it wasn't her fault and she didn't do anything wrong to apologize for, but I appreciated the hugs and kisses.

At that point I decided my ability to get KD ready for bed just wasn't going to happen. I called my in-laws two houses down. Thank God for them being so close. I try not to bother them unless I really need them (or I would be calling every day, every minute). Grandma was ready and willing to come to my rescue. I got to lay down in bed as she dressed KD and rocked her for a while to calm her down.

Unfortunately it got to be 10pm at night and KD was still up with Grandma in the living room. I walked out there wondering when Grandma was going to be taking KD into her room to put her into bed. I guess she was waiting for my friend to come home and help out??? Anyways, at that point I said I would take KD to her room and do the deed myself. Grandma offered to stay just in case I needed help, which was good. I told her that if KD was running around and not calming down there was no way I was going to be dealing with that. I was just going to turn on KD's music and rock her with the lights out for a couple songs and then put her into bed, that was it. If I had to get out of that rocking chair I was going to go grab Grandma and have her deal with getting KD settled back down and putting her into bed. Fortunately KD actually did go straight to bed after the few minutes of rocking. So, I guess Grandma needed a bit more instruction on what I wanted and needed her to do. But at least the intentions of helping me were there. I tried to not let it get to me too much.

That night my friend came home with another close friend to stay the night. They were staying over because the next day they were throwing a baby shower for me. It was just easier for everything to get done if they stayed, and I didn't mind that! And as it happened I needed the extra help all day the next day to rest and recuperate from Thursday.

What did peeve me off a bit was the next morning... the "other close friend" that I mentioned informed me that my husband had posted "worried" as his status on Facebook and she then started instant messaging him to see why. Well, its because Grandma (my husband's mother, the worrier) decided to freak him out and say I was having contractions the night before and was in a lot of pain. She was thinking I was going to go into labor, or that I had pre-eclampsia or whatever. And he is on the other side of the world and can't do anything about it. UGH! Since when did she become a doctor? She does this a lot, she diagnoses you with something instead of being calm and just saying, "Call the doctor." I had told her the night before that my Doctor knows about the BHs and his instructions were, "If they go away when you sit or lay down you are fine. If you start feeling them 5 minutes apart for an hour then go to the hospital." And the only reason I was in pain was because KD tapped her head against my belly at the same moment my stomach was getting hard as a basketball. The BHs are annoying, but not THAT painful.

So I had to start messaging JD that I was okay and that his Mom was over reacting. His Mom, while I was talking to him, called and asked if she could bring over her blood pressure machine for me. I said, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." I knew it would be fine. And after she took it she said, "Its good... now we know its not pre-eclampsia." LOL!! I just had to laugh at the woman. Again, at least she means well. Better that she is over protective than not care about me at all. But the down side is that she has sent my husband into worry mode. So I gave the Doctor's office a call and talked to the nurse. She said everything that I was saying about it and mentioned a couple practical tips. She said being dehydrated can irritate the uterus too, so make sure to drink plenty of water. And I must admit, the day before I didn't drink much water. I had helped out at VBS that one day... Wednesday, and though I just sat for 3 hours pushing a soundtrack button and occasionally stood to write on a white board or pass out a snack, I didn't do much at all! But what I didn't do, and should have, was drink anything or eat anything during those few hours. And even though that doesn't sound like a big deal, for me at 36 weeks preggers it apparently was a big deal. My body was just yelling at me the next day to take it easy. The nurse also said that me taking care of a toddler on my own (for the majority of the day and month) takes its toll and I am probably doing too much. She said, "Let your friends and in-laws do the laundry, wash the dishes, cook dinner, and pick up the toys." I was thinking, yeah right. I mean, I have my friend there doing that most nights, but not all. And my in-laws can't baby me all day long and do my house work and take care of KD for me. I take advantage of the help when I can, but its not around 24/7!! At this point I would need JD to come back home for that kind of help. And he won't be back for another week and a half.

I guess I will have to figure out how to pare things down as best I can, not over work myself (even though it seems like I am barely doing anything already), and drink plenty of water and get as much rest as possible. I have called friends and neighbors, and signed up Grandma, for time to take KD for a few hours or to come over and make dinner or help out as needed during the day or night. Hopefully the few hours of help a day will be enough to keep the all day BH contractions at bay. I don't want to trigger early labor... baby has to stay put until Daddy comes home! The nurse told me at this point if I do go into labor they won't stop it, the baby is at a point that he would be fine if he came early. But I won't be!! And JD would be so upset if he missed the birth of his son when he was planning on being home 20 days before the due date anyways! OMG... don't let that happen! I just have to make it through a little while longer and then all will be fine. JD will take care of me and KD and our baby will be born at full term, as he is meant to be.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Toddler's Imagination

Tonight, as I was rocking KD in her room before bed, KD told me about a dream she had. She started out with a comment, "Cars don't fit in my room." I said, "No, you are right, they don't." (This was from a conversation over a week ago that I had with her when she heard loud cars or motorcycles outside. I told her that she didn't need to be afraid of loud cars because even if the sound scares her the cars don't fit in the house, they can't fit in our house. They stay on the street.) Then she started talking about a green car that fell upside down and hit her closet doors and got a boo boo on it. Then she said there was also a pink car, a yellow car, and a blue car there too. I said, "A green car was in your room and hit your closet doors?" And she said, "Yeah!" I told her that was a dream, and that she is right about cars not being able to fit in her room. I told her it was her imagination and when she wakes up it ends and she can go back to sleep knowing it was just a dream and she is okay. Then she told me more. "I was at the beach and I saw a dolphin. I waved, 'H!i' Then a whale jumped out of the water and flew over my head and got my hand." I wasn't sure if she meant he bit her hand or what, but she would just repeat that he "got it." Then she said the dolphin turned a pink color. I asked her if the dolphin and whale dream made her feel happy or sad, she said it made her feel sad. So I knew that was another bad dream she must have had.

No wonder she has been waking up crying at night! What a wild and vivid imagination she has. I've been trying to get her to talk about her bad dreams when she wakes up, but she usually says nothing. But I am able to calm her down pretty quickly and get her back to sleep in 5 minutes or less. I am glad she finally talked about her bad dreams, I was wondering what was going on in that head of hers. And this way we can talk about what is real versus what is imagined and how to handle bad dreams. I also found her imagination fascinating.

You would think I was letting her watch cop shows and shark week on the National Geographic channel!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

33 Weeks and Counting

I have just about competed 33 weeks of pregnancy. I can't believe I only have 7 weeks to go until I meet my baby boy! Amazing how time flies! I still have issues with sleep. Last few nights have been really rough. Two nights ago I didn't even get a wink of sleep until after 4am. Last night I fell asleep after midnight sometime, but then KD decided to wake up just before 6am and I wasn't ready to get up. After a few nights of poor sleep its seems to get all backed up on you. I was able to get a snooze on the couch while she ate her breakfast, and then she snuggled up next to me and ended up sleeping a little too.

After being up today for a few hours I still felt like I could fall asleep any second and wasn't very entertaining for KD. She was getting bored (tossing around crayons and toys) and not listening to me when I said to stop doing something she shouldn't. I decided to call a neighbor for some interventions before I went nuts and KD ended up getting time outs or spankings for poor behavior. Thankfully I found a neighbor home and willing to take KD on an outing with her two kids and another neighbor's kid that she was doing anyways. I got to stay home and sleep for a couple hours and then she said after KD's nap I could bring her over again, if I needed more time to recoup. So I ended up taking her up on that offer as well and had KD stay over at her house until dinner time. That woman is a Godsend... a veritable saint! I am so blessed to have her as my neighbor.

Besides my own sleep issues, KD has been waking up crying almost every night. I think she is having nightmares, but I have no idea how to help her stop. Last night she said something about falling, so perhaps she is having that dream where you feel like you are falling, and then waking up in a dark room feeling disoriented? I go in and rock her for a few minutes and she is okay again, but I feel so helpless. I may go find a night light for her soon and see if that helps. If she wakes up and sees familiar surroundings perhaps that will help soothe her and just go back to sleep on her own. Unfortunately, many times she wakes up just when I am about to fall asleep myself, or even before I get any sleep at all! Like the night I didn't sleep until after 4am, she woke up with a nightmare. That doesn't really help me sleep too well, my heart races when I hear that cry. Its so guttural and I can tell she is frightened and needs me. It makes me really feel empathy for her when she cries like that. I hope these bad dreams end soon for her.

JD left for his 35 day rotation again just last week. I have a friend coming over at night to stay with me this week. She has to go out of town for work next week, but will be back for another week, and then gone again for about 5 days, then back again until JD is home. I was happy for her help, even if she has to leave for work a couple weeks this month. Since Braxton Hicks contractions seem to be hitting me in the evening I am letting her do any bending, stooping, giving KD a bath and any cleaning she can help with. Those things all set off the BH contractions. My Doctor says they are fine, as long as they are going away when I change a position or stop activity. So, for now, its just another annoying thing to have to put up with. Along with the shortness of breath from just a short walk. I can't even go half way up my street without feeling winded and a BH contraction! "Really?!" Is what I say to that. It's just ridiculous, I am not doing anything strenuous!

In other news, my oldest brother, who has stage 4 Melanoma cancer, is going to be starting Chemo tomorrow. It's part of a clinical trial he has decided to go ahead and participate in. He has been told nothing will permenantly take away the Melanoma and at first he wasn't sure if he wanted to put himself through any chemo and be sick during what few precious months he has left. But I am glad he decided to try something out. Who knows, maybe a miracle will happen, or he will get some extra time to live. Even if it doesn't cure him, hopefully this can help them find a cure for the next person. And to top off this "wonderful news," July 1st was the anniverary of my Mom's death. I am handling the year marker okay, but I can't imagine its helping my brother cope with things any easier. For some reason I think it hit him the hardest. Probably because he lived farther away and was less of a communicator and wishes he had spent more time with her or calling her. I am sure the stress of her death has been a factor in the reappearance of his cancer. For me Mother's Day this year was harder than the anniversary of her death.

My husband has been looking for a new job, and if you have read my older blog postings you know we almost made a move to Jeddah. But that job seems to have taken a nose dive. The company, which is a new start up, is not doing as well as his friend had hoped. (His friend is their Director of Ops and was hoping to hire JD on as soon as they got some planes purchased and ready to go.) Now this same friend has been approached by another guy that wants to start a commuter/ business flight company out of Carlsbad, California. JD's friend has accepted that position and is in the midst of background checks etc. If he ends up working as their Director of Ops he is going to see what they are willing to pay for a Captain position and see if its worth it for JD to start working there.

I told JD that even if this new company doesn't end up being successful that he should take the job. We can even deal with a small paycut for a while. JD needs to get out of the Middle East. The company he is working for treats their pilots horribly... and financially they seem to be going down hill fast too. And JD and I really want him to work closer to home so we can see each other more. This Carlsbad company is only a couple hours drive from our house and the owner says that he wants his pilots to be home every night. Apperantly he is a big family man, which is a HUGE difference than what he has to deal with now. JD's current company couldn't care less about their pilot's wives or children.

It would be amazing to have my husband home every night. And it sounds like if this happens it will be in September! Right after the baby is born!! Such good timing. I am praying hard for that to happen. I know the job may not be around forever, but it would get JD home and buy him more time to look for something else that will work for us. I also think that getting paid less is worth it for him to be home every night. I just can't handle this 5 weeks gone, 4 weeks home situation anymore, especially with a 2nd child on the way. I have no idea how I am going to cope without him.

Well, that's my news for now. Here's to some good sleep, miracle healings, and husband being home more! Cheers! (Imagine a glass of wine in our hands and me clinking it with you... except mine has sparkling cider in it, haha.)