I got to go to Texas this past Monday to today (Thursday). My hubs is there training for the new plane he has been promoted to fly. He will be flying a Falcon now, he was flying the Hawker. I got to sit in a sim while he "flew." It was really cool, this box on hydraulic legs that bounced you around and shook and all kinds of things. If you have ever been on the "Star Tours" ride at Disneyland it was kind of like that.
We were able to time my visit with the time of month that I am suppose to be ovulating, but who knows if we "hit the target" or not? We tried our best to not talk about it and just hang out, have fun, no pressure. I really don't want it to become a chore to be intimate. If we aren't in the mood... then we aren't in the mood, no biggie. But we hadn't seen each other for a couple weeks, so getting into the mood wasn't that difficult... hee hee. I just don't want to get my hopes up too high and then get the blues again.
Today I heard that another friend of mine had a miscarriage... so sad. She was past the first trimester and just started into the 2nd trimester. So, that couple must feel devastated right now. She has two kids already, but I don't think that makes it any easier when you lose a baby beyond the first few weeks of pregnancy. At this point she may have even seen her baby bouncing around on the ultrasound, and I am sure she at least has heard the heart beat. It just makes you realize how delicate the whole process is of having a baby. Its more amazing when nothing goes wrong and Mom does fine and baby turns out perfectly healthy.
Like with my first pregnancy... Our first try and we get preggers right away, and I didn't have any complications at all during my pregnancy, and when KD was born she didn't have any problems. When she had her first check-up the Pediatrician was like, "Its really amazing when a child is born completely healthy... absolutely no problems." We did feel very blessed. Today's news just further spurred me to be thankful to God for giving us such a wonderful daughter. She is smart as a whip and ahead of the curve for most of her developmental mile stones. Can't help but feel blessed.
I also realized today that even if I get preggers it doesn't mean that we are "out of the woods" just yet. Its pretty common to have a miscarriage, 1 in 4 pregnant women end up having one. So, I do want to get pregnant, and I want to be excited about it if it happens, but I will have to realize that our dreams of a second baby may fall flat even just after finding out I am pregnant. I will have to continue to brace myself for the worse, while hoping for the best. You just never know what can happen. I know my husband and I have even had the conversation... if he had to decide between me living or the baby living who would he choose? Its a horrible thought, and one I hope he will never be put in the position to make, but its good to talk about these things. He decided he would rather have me, we can always make another baby... but he doesn't want to lose his wife. I would probably want my baby to live over me, but I think that is the Motherly instinct, and I agreed with my husband's wishes and said if we are ever in that position I support his decision to save me, his wife, over our baby. I am sure I would be devastated though, if it was a scenario where I was 9 months along and ready to bring a baby home and then lost the little one instead. Very sad. Okay... enough depressing talk.