Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Beating the Blues

I am attempting to get back into gear and not let the fact that I am not pregnant get me down. I only did my exercise two days last week, and only for a half our. The day I got my period was the last day I worked out. The rest of the week I ate too much sweets and was drinking a wine cooler every night before bed, and I don't drink on a daily basis. I drink only on social occasions, and even then not every time. So for me to be drinking at all says a lot. (I had the alcohol from a Bunco party that I hosted at my house Friday night, and the ladies left it for me. I should have sent it out the door with whoever brought it.)

I gained 1.5 lbs from all the slacking last week. So I definitely can't keep that up and need to pull myself up by the boot straps and get my butt in gear again. My next weight goal (I am below my first goal) was only 6 pounds away, but now its almost 8 pounds away... I am headed in the wrong direction. But I know it was just because I was feeling down. I need to reset my focus and strive towards this new weight loss goal and not think about getting pregnant.

Today, even though I was tempted to just get my P.J.'s on and hop into bed tonight, I finally did my workout like a good girl. I even didn't eat that bad and when tempted to reach for one of the last two wine coolers I decided that a tall glass of water would be a better option and allowed myself a Diet Coke with a scoop of trail mix as a "good job" treat, for getting back into the routine.

Next week I am going to go visit my husband in Texas, where he is training. He is leaving next week Friday for work again and I won't be seeing him until November sometime. I am not sure when in November either, since he has to get 25 hours in the new plane he is training for first. What I am going to TRY to do is put baby-making out of my brain, and encourage him to not think about it either, and just have fun, relax, and enjoy the time I have before he leaves. (Even though, yes, it happens to be the week that I should be ovulating.)

After thinking it all through, in my last post, I have decided there is nothing to be blue about, we have plenty of time still to get pregnant and I don't need to put any pressure on myself or my husband to get this accomplished in the next few months. Having kids 3 to 5 years apart isn't the worse thing that could happen.

Today I also received news that the girlfriend who got pregnant after just one try had a miscarriage. (I think I mentioned her before.) Her first daughter is the same age as my first daughter, they are 3 days apart. I was a bit sad to hear she got pregnant right away (excited for her, but sad for me) and was hoping to be close behind her and have our next kids around the same time. It goes to show you, even if I do get pregnant there are no guarantees that everything will go perfectly well. I can't put so much pressure on myself that if I do get pregnant and then miscarry that I end up being miserable and horribly depressed about it. If I am already feeling blue every time my period comes around how much worse would I take it if I ended up miscarrying? Time to get it together and get back on track with my life.

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