I have one week left and the first trimester is over! I am going to be very happy to see the preggie sickness go away. I am approaching the end of the 12th week and already my energy has picked up. I still have moments of feeling queasy, but even that seems to have lessened. Today I actually didn't nap!
My husband came home January 18th and has been doing EVERYTHING around the house as I crawl into bed every chance I get. He has been home to see me have severe migraines and throw up and to feel ill all day and all night. It gets worse right around 6pm and I don't have the strength to even make dinner. Tonight was the first night I have cooked dinner since he got home, and the first day I didn't take a nap in the middle of the day along with KD. There were even nights when I just had to crawl into bed and let him do all the work of giving KD her bath and getting her ready for bed. I know he can handle it, I just feel like I should be there doing that along side him and to be there for KD. But Jason has been a really great help.
There was one night, about a week after JD got home, that I cried after he crawled into bed after me. I had been sucking it up for a month and holding myself together as much as possible to keep the house clean and take care of KD and myself. When JD gets home I try to help him acclimate because he has sever jet lag and I want to give him time to rest. Well, after a week of continuing to "hold it together" for KD and JD and be "Super Mom" I started to get migraines almost every night. This one night I had left to go lie down for a bit before it was time to get KD ready for bed. When I went in to help JD put KD in her pajamas and to help read her books, KD looked at me and knew I didn't feel well. She asked, "Mommy sick?" I said, "My head hurts" and she reached up and started to rub my forehead, very sweet of her. JD then looked at KD and jokingly said, "Tell Mommy to suck it up." I took offense to that and said, "You've never had a migraine before have you? You have no idea what this is like." I finished up story time and hugs with KD and then crawled back into bed in our pitch black bedroom. Once JD came in he turned on the bathroom light and left the door open as he proceeded to get ready for a shower. I balked at him and said, "Shut the door!" The light over the sink bounces over to the mirrored closet doors and directly into my eyes. I then thought to myself, "What a jerk!"
When he finally crawled into bed and asked if it was okay to watch TV (which also hurts my head, even with my eyes shut, when I have a migraine) I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. He groaned impatiently back and then turned on the TV. I then proceeded to cry. The thing about starting to cry when you are pregnant is that it is hard to stop. As I was blubbering, he turned off the TV, I told him that I HAVE been "sucking it up" for a month and holding it together for a month while he was gone. I was angry that he couldn't see how I was in pain and that it was bad enough of a pain for me to not participate in evening activities with him and KD. I had hoped that he would see me suffering and say, "Honey why don't you go to bed, I can take care of KD and put her to bed tonight." But I also realized expecting your husband to have the emotional awareness of a woman is not a realistic expectation. I took the blame for not voicing my discomfort and not simply telling him "I cannot handle this right now, I feel sick to my stomach and I have a migraine, I need to go to bed and be in complete darkness and quiet." He said that if I need to do that then he can handle the bed time stuff, even though KD may not be too happy about it. And I agreed to participate in the book reading time and the final hugs goodnight if he did everything else and didn't get me until all the lights were off except her dim side table lamp... in the event of a future migraine or major stomach sickness. I also take the blame for thinking I have to be "Super Mom" and try to do everything for KD, even when JD is home. I know he can handle the bedtime routine without me. He is a big boy. And if KD cries about me leaving to go lie down, then tough crackers. Mommy needs to take care of herself sometimes. So... the crying stopped and he apologized. I joked, "Why can't you act like a woman sometimes?" and we went to bed.
Other than that particular night it has been a great help to have Jason home. He has done all the laundry, washed all the dishes, cooked all the dinners, gone grocery shopping with me (which he hates to do) taken KD to her swim lessons when I was too sick to go, and has cleaned and vacuumed the house several times over while he has been home. So, I really do have a great husband. I am very happy that he has been here to do all that. Now I am crossing my fingers that after next week I will feel like my normal self again. Then when he leaves February 18th I won't have to "suck it up" again when I feel like I am about to fall apart.
Oh, and exciting news... I have an ultrasound coming up on Monday. We may be able to find out if we are having a boy or a girl at that time! I know I have said that I would like to wait, but I know JD wants to find out and if we can find out this time, right before he leaves for work again, I think that would be a great early Valentine's gift for each other. And I gotta admit, I am curious if this is a boy that has been giving me such a hassle or if we are having another girl. And then I can stop thinking about possible boy and girl names and just focus on one gender's name. And the other bonus is starting to decide on how to decorate the baby's room and plan out what I am going to paint as a mural over this baby's bed, like I did in KD's room. Ahhhh, I love that part. So, I am glad we are going to find out early. Well, if the baby cooperates and the technician can tell us. I know its possible that we may not find out this time around. Finding out on the day the baby is born would be very exciting and something that I would like to experience, but... there are pros and cons to either scenario. And as JD is excited to find out, I am starting to get excited as well.
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