Sunday, September 20, 2009

Here we go again

The hubs got sent home early because they are upgrading him to a larger plane and his training starts a couple days before the end of his regular rotation. It was nice of them to send him home for a break because once he goes to training he will be there for 25 days and then they send him back to work to get 25 hours of flight hours with a training captain. So, he would've been gone for a long time if he wasn't sent home first. Its going to be long enough as it is!

Just so happens that the two weeks home happens to land us in that window of opportunity to get me pregnant. I am suppose to be ovulating and he has been home for a few days already. So, here we go again... I am all happy and sad and all over the map. I don't want to get up my hopes too high only to be disappointed again when my period comes, but I want to stay positive and not get depressed or stressed out over it. Like I said before, knowing when you ovulate is more of a curse than a blessing. There is so much pressure to try to make a baby when that time arrives. At least we have been able to keep the romance in the equation, I'm glad its not turning into some sort of business transaction... hahahah

I just hate that wait for the period to start. Its just torture!!!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Bummer

I'm not pregnant. This last try before my husband left for his 35 day rotation didn't take. I guess we will see if it ever happens. I hope I get pregnant before the end of this year, but I don't know if I want to keep trying for a long time. I really was hoping to avoid being 35 years old when got preggers again, that is the "high risk" age... it starts there. And the later I get pregnant the older KD is, obviously. I don't really want to send a kid off to school and then end up pregnant and have to stay home until that one starts school. I wanted to go back to work eventually and use my Interior Design BA degree and get more experience so I could run my own business out of my home. I think staying home is really important for the first 4 or 5 years of a kids life, if one is able to financially do that. I am happy I am able to do that for KD, and the next one I would want to put the same time and effort into raising. So... I don't know. I don't want to get my hopes up, and yet want to keep trying, but don't want to stress out over the idea of trying for another kid.

The one kid we ended up with is pretty great. She is so great that sometimes we joke that our next kid will be "special" lol... It's kind of off color humor, but we joke about it. We just mean to say that KD is so smart, so cute, so great that we just don't know how we will ever top that! It makes me want to not try sometimes because we may not end up with such a happy, easy going kid that likes to nap and sleeps 12 hours a night, and all that stuff. Sure, she isn't perfect... and she has her moments. But doesn't every kid? I think she is as good as it gets. It would be nice though (I think) for her to have a sibling. I think that is the main reason I am even trying to get pregnant again. The second reason is that I have a girl and my hubby would like to have boy. Of course, having another one doesn't guarantee that we would have a boy, so he would have to take what he got. And I know for sure I am not going to try for a third. That's it for me. Kudos to those moms out there who have 4 kids, 5 kids... or more. But I just don't see that working for me. I think I would be soooo stressed out. Maybe not, but that is what I think.

Well, not much more to say about the subject. I will post something later when I have something.