Thursday, August 20, 2009

Time for a new post

I have been "off the grid" for a bit and was thinking it was time for a new post. I guess I have a good excuse, the passing of my Mom, so I don't have any apologies to make. However, there is no "juicy" news to report. But I will give this a shot for you all. Let's see what happens...

There is an "up side" to my Mom's passing... my husband came home early. He left work, they were slow anyway, after only a week or so of being there. So he has been home since the beginning of July and isn't leaving until next week. So almost two whole months home! YAY!! Its been really nice having extra time with him home. I am going to miss the extra help with KD, she is turning two in October but her "terrible twos" have arrived early. For about a week we were putting her in a time out a couple times a day! We are lucky she is as good natured as she is. But still, it can get difficult at times, especially when I have to deal with it by myself for a month!

Another "up side" is that we are now able to replace our roof, which has been falling apart for a few years, using the money that was left to me by my Mom. Without it honestly I don't know when we were going to be able to do the roof, and its been a concern of mine for a while. We had eaves that were disintegrating from termite damage, a few small leaks that were making water spots on the ceiling when it rained, and when the Santa Ana wind season came around we usually lost a tile or two. So, thanks Mom! I think she would be happy to know we have used her money to keep her family safe and sound. If she had been rich in life I am sure she would have loved to do that for us while she was alive. Right now the tiles on my roof are all torn off, they replaced all the rotting rafters and eaves today, tomorrow they are putting the plywood in. Next week we get the new tiles installed. Oh... another great thing we got to get done is tear out the rotting/ dead Olive tree we had. It was causing damage to our roof as well, with bug infestation and moisture etc. So we get to put a new tree in and I am getting a Willow tree like I always wanted... well, actually a Peppermint Willow. And when JD gets back after his next rotation we will have the house painted. The stucco has been falling off and is cracked in some places, and is this horrible pink color. I can't wait to see that done. Its not as important as the roof, so I don't mind waiting... but I am so excited to see that paint color go and get the stucco fixed. (FYI: We are painting the house a lovely light sage green color. It will be nice.)

One thing I was HOPING would be another benefit of JD coming home earlier is a chance to get pregnant. We had two very clear chances to get me knocked up (usually he is coming home or leaving right around the time I am ovulating.) But alas, neither time it took. So we have to give it another try before he leaves... while I am in the midst of an ovulation cycle. I don't have that big of hopes of it working this time if it hasn't worked the other two times and we had more time to "cover all the bases," if you will. But then again, who knows? We were not to keen on the idea of getting pregnant during this next opportunity because it would land the due date around our Anniversary date in May, and we really wanted to keep the time for our self and not have a kid that we needed to spend money and attention on instead of each other. But I was checking out the time frame for when he is home again and our next chance and the due date lands in early July, which will be one year after my Mom's passing and my birthday month (I'm July 13th). Her birthday was also July 9th, so I am like... "wouldn't that be weird if the next kid was born on my Mom's birthday?" So I figured we might as well give this round a shot, its not like either option is the "ideal" situation, but I would prefer the Anniversary connection and avoid having a baby that is a reminder of my Mom's death every time I celebrate their birthday. And perhaps it would not be that bad, but still... not that exciting of an option. Plus I was hoping to be pregnant during the cooler part of the year and not be 9 months preggers in the hottest part of the year. I was in the 2nd trimester with KD during the summer months and it was not fun. Anyways, I am not holding my breath or counting on this working this round... but I am somewhat hopeful, or I wouldn't even be trying.

As for my Aunt, which I have been writing about in previous posts, she is STILL in the hospital. Not much improvment, but at least she isn't getting any worse. She still has the halo-brace on and breathing with the help of a tube, and she is going to have that brace on for at least another month or two. They think at least 6 months she will need it on, and she got in her car accident at the end of March. When I visit her she is asleep most of the time, and I hate to wake her! It tires her out when they try to sit her up and give her a little physical therapy and I feel like she needs the sleep. What is really difficult is that we haven't told her that her sister, my Mom, is gone. She drifts in and out and sometimes doesn't seem to recognize her own family, so we don't think its wise to tell her what has happened until she is more alert and stabilized. I am not looking forward to that conversation... "About four months ago your sister passed away..." or however long its been when we tell her. Not going to be fun. I am hoping that when we tell her it won't break her heart and cause her to not progress as she should. My Mom, my Aunt, and I were all very close. We have all been there for each other through thick and thin, so it will be hard for me to talk about it with her. My Aunt is like a second Mom to me, if she were to also die I think my heart couldn't take it. I would curl up in a little ball and just cry for days... months... I don't know what I would do! I guess having KD and JD in my life would keep me going, but it would be hard.

I am praying that my Aunt will be fully recovered before my next baby is born. She was there when KD was born and was such a big help! She arrived with my Mom just in the nick of time to help me through the worst part of the labor and all the pushing. And my Aunt was a labor and delivery nurse, so she helped me with my breathing and managing the contractions in a way that was AMAZING! Plus the Doctor didn't even make it in time, it was her and the nurse at the hospital that delivered KD!!! I always felt comforted by the thought that even if JD was flying or out of town when the big day arrived at least I had her to be there for me. So, in a way... the longer it takes for me to get pregnant the better, more of a chance that she will be there. It would mean a lot to have her there for my second baby delivery for so many reasons, not just the "nurse" part of her background, but also what she means to me personally. My whole life I have always looked up to my Aunt and wanted to be just like her. She is such a wonderful and loving person, so giving and so godly. She is just the most wonderful person and I am so privileged to be related to her and be able to call her my Auntie. She is very special. I really hope she gets through this difficult time as quickly as possible. She must be so miserable lying there in the hospital with that big metal brace on her head and wishing she was home.

Well, that's enough sad thoughts for one night. I will continue to look at the positives in my life and move ahead with a smile on my face. I know all things will work out and that God will take care of me and my loved ones. He has so far! :) I am very blessed.

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