With crazy zig zag tearing and 4 sutures in my "lady parts" I had quite a challenging first week after baby was born. At one point I felt so much pain I was in tears and the next day my husband made a call to my OB Doctor to see if he could prescribe a pain med for me. I have been taking 600 mg of Motrin every 6 hours and that was just not cutting it for me. Thankfully my Dr. asked me to come in to take a look and didn't just give me pain pills.
When I went in there were a couple stitches actually pulling at and cutting into my skin. The Dr. was able to cut and remove two right there in the examination room. As soon as he did that I felt immediate relief. But he still gave me a prescription for some pain meds anyways, luckily so. By the time JD and I got back to the car I was about to pass out just from the pain I experienced when he found the offending stitches (he had to press on them and investigate the cause of the pain and that caused further pain). I took a Vicodin when I got home and after a good nap I felt much better. And I only needed one more later that night and since then have avoided taking anymore.
Just when I thought the worst was over, the next day I felt horrible cramps in my abdomen, causing me a lot of misery. I was laying in bed, having only taken some Motrin at this point, when my daughter came and wanted to give me a hug. I found myself in tears as my daughter hugged me, and this caused the poor sensitive girl to cry as well. She probably thought she had hurt me, because I had been telling her not to push on me or touch me certain ways for the past few days. I told KD that I liked the hug and the tears were good tears. It was like a healing hug from her. I can't explain the power of that hug... I have no words. I pulled her into my chest again for a hug and we laid there together and just breathed the healing in.
I decided to hop in the shower while the baby was still asleep, and after KD felt better again. I figured a nice hot shower would help the cramping and I hoped I wouldn't need another Vicodin for the pain. While I was in the hot water I started crying again, just letting it out. And while I felt the misery I prayed and thanked God for the love in my life. I have a wonderful daughter, a healthy new baby boy, a husband who is doing everything around the house for me... taking care of me, our toddler and our new baby, as well as cooking and cleaning! I felt blessed by God, even though I was in a miserable state with all the stitches and the pains that come with your body attempting to snap back into it's former shape. It's a pain that seems like it has no purpose, but it does have meaning. It is a necessary pain when you have a child. To get the family that we want and to enjoy the blessing of a new baby I have to go through this pain.
I don't know why, but finding purpose in the pain makes it more bearable. Like enduring the pain of labor. I didn't get an epidural with either of my kids. I don't need one, my labor goes so fast! When I am feeling I am at the highest point of pain its over in 15 minutes anyway, so why get some drug put in me for just 15 minutes of pain that has a good purpose to it? I can handle it, so I figure I don't need the epidural. I don't hold it against any woman who wants the epidural... if I had 12 or 24 hours of labor and it took me an hour to push out my baby I would want it too!! But for me, the pain isn't meaningless and something I just want to push out of my mind. Its a part of the process, feeling the need to push, feeling the pressure of the baby coming down... all of that is information that helps me know when to push and informs me of what is going on. The pain, like I said, has a purpose. Therefore it is bearable. Plus I know it has an end... it will go away, it is not for an eternity.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Baby is Here! (the big story)
Ironically the same day I wrote the last blog entry I was actually in labor and didn't realize it yet. I had abdominal cramping when I woke up and was relaxing at home thinking they were Braxton Hicks contractions and waiting for them to go away. My husband had taken KD out with him to do a few errands and I stayed home hoping to feel better soon. But when I laid down they didn't stop. I decided to start timing the sharp pains when they hit, since they seemed to come and go, and at first there was no pattern, but kept timing things. I messaged JD on his Blackberry to let him have a heads up, just in case this was it.
I started timing things at 11:20am and by the time he was home, around noon, they seemed to be coming and going in a pattern. I was still unsure because I only felt sharp menstrual type pains and no rise and fall of labor pains, like I did with my first... there was a definite build up and a peak of pain and then a lowering and relaxing of the abdomen. But soon enough I started to get that feeling, that "I think another one is coming" feeling, and sure enough there emerged a pattern. At this point they were coming every 7 to 8 minutes apart and it was nearing 1pm. JD's sister arrived just as we were waiting for the contractions to be 5 min apart. JD and I agreed to wait until I felt two labor pains 5 minutes apart in a consecutive row before we left for the hospital. And by around 1pm I had felt that and we decided to head out the door. JD's Mom came over to go with us and JD's Dad took over KD watching and was ready to put her down for her nap for us.
We arrived at the hospital and they wheeled me in to the check-in office. There I filled out and signed all kinds of paperwork. I wasn't in hard labor, thank goodness... but the check in lady said she would send me right to my room if I needed to. My contractions were soon just 2 or 3 minutes apart when we finally got finished with the check in process. By the time we made it in the the L&D (labor and delivery) room it was 2:15pm. I crossed my fingers and hoped this was actually it and that they wouldn't be sending me home.
Once the nurse came in and checked me out I was 4cm dilated... hurray!! I could stay!! JD said he thought I would be at 4cm, I was at that point with our first when the contractions were as close. But I felt so relaxed, and nothing eventful had happened yet (like my water breaking or getting that "bloody show" thing), that I wasn't very sure. But I was happy this was the real deal and that it was finally confirmed.
I continued through the beginning stage of labor with a smile and good humor, knowing that the hard labor would be coming soon and that I wouldn't be doing much talking eventually. My sister-in-law and Mother-in-law stayed in the room and were there for the whole thing. JD was wonderfully supportive, as he always is, and my in-laws took turns letting me squeeze their hands or rubbing my arm or leg or whatever they could do for me... such as getting more ice chips and whatnot.
We warned the nurse that I had quick labor with my first and that the Doctor hadn't made it into the room last time. So, by the time she checked me and I was almost 8cm dilated (around 4pm) everyone was placing their bets that the baby would be coming in 15 to 30 minutes. When the nurse called the Doctor she told him to come right over and not stop to talk to anyone (his office is across the street from the hospital.) And just when he stepped into the room I had the urge to push!!
I had to breath "who who who" to try to stop from pushing until he got his gloves on, but that urge to push is very hard to stop. When he was pulled up to me and set to go I was already in the midst of another contraction and starting to push. I was still breathing a bit and grunting and he said to stop all noise and breathing to put my energy into pushing the baby out. While we waited for the next contraction to come the Doctor said the baby's heart rate was dropping and if I did it right the baby could come out in the next push. So I concentrated all my energy on getting baby A out (his name starts with an "A"). I knew it there was no time to mess around and ease him out. So with the next push I said in my head, "C'moooon baby A____!" and soon he popped right out with a gush of liquid. My water hadn't even really broken before this point, I had felt a small trickle of water earlier and the Doctor (I think) may have pierced it somewhere in all this commotion, I heard him say something about breaking my water and then saying "her water broke" but I am not sure when all that happened. But no matter, baby A was finally here... at 4:15pm!
He was weighed and we all gasped as the nurse called out "9 pounds 4 ounces!" He was also measured at 20" long. Big boy!! Then the Doctor started stitching me up, he said I tore in a zig zag all over the place and ended up using 4 suture spools! He told me that was due to a few things 1. I had scar tissue from the tears my first baby caused me, which doesn't stretch 2. I had a big baby and 3. I had to get him out fast and didn't have time to ease him out. So, that is the "fun" and painful mess I have to deal with now. But I was happy to finally have my baby boy in my arms.
When KD was brought in to see me and the baby for the first time she was very excited. She wanted to kiss and hug the baby. She looked at me and said, "He came out!" So cute. I had been saying to her for a couple weeks, "Tell your brother he can come out anytime now." So I guess she picked that up from me. I am glad she was so excited and took to him right away.
The next couple days in the hospital I was in a very good mood and was able to get minimal rest throughout the nights, but that was expected... I was happy for any amount of sleep. Baby A has been a very good nurser, just like his big sis KD. He even stayed in his bassinet without crying (KD didn't do that), so between feedings I could have him out of the bed to get some sleep without worrying about him in my bed or trying to hold him while sleeping.
When I was released from the hospital I was very impatient and ready to go home. I had to wait for everything, the nurse to come in and do the papers, the wheelchair to get there to wheel me out, and then JD had a struggle getting the baby's straps tight on his car seat, and I was ready to see KD and have lunch! I got pretty restless at this point. When we finally got home I was happy to see KD run up and greet me and get into the house with Baby A. JD's Dad leaned over to me and asked if I wanted my sandwich (which he had picked up for us for lunch) and I was very eager and said, "Yes! Please... ASAP!" Haha. And so concludes the birth story of my very big boy!
I started timing things at 11:20am and by the time he was home, around noon, they seemed to be coming and going in a pattern. I was still unsure because I only felt sharp menstrual type pains and no rise and fall of labor pains, like I did with my first... there was a definite build up and a peak of pain and then a lowering and relaxing of the abdomen. But soon enough I started to get that feeling, that "I think another one is coming" feeling, and sure enough there emerged a pattern. At this point they were coming every 7 to 8 minutes apart and it was nearing 1pm. JD's sister arrived just as we were waiting for the contractions to be 5 min apart. JD and I agreed to wait until I felt two labor pains 5 minutes apart in a consecutive row before we left for the hospital. And by around 1pm I had felt that and we decided to head out the door. JD's Mom came over to go with us and JD's Dad took over KD watching and was ready to put her down for her nap for us.
We arrived at the hospital and they wheeled me in to the check-in office. There I filled out and signed all kinds of paperwork. I wasn't in hard labor, thank goodness... but the check in lady said she would send me right to my room if I needed to. My contractions were soon just 2 or 3 minutes apart when we finally got finished with the check in process. By the time we made it in the the L&D (labor and delivery) room it was 2:15pm. I crossed my fingers and hoped this was actually it and that they wouldn't be sending me home.
Once the nurse came in and checked me out I was 4cm dilated... hurray!! I could stay!! JD said he thought I would be at 4cm, I was at that point with our first when the contractions were as close. But I felt so relaxed, and nothing eventful had happened yet (like my water breaking or getting that "bloody show" thing), that I wasn't very sure. But I was happy this was the real deal and that it was finally confirmed.
I continued through the beginning stage of labor with a smile and good humor, knowing that the hard labor would be coming soon and that I wouldn't be doing much talking eventually. My sister-in-law and Mother-in-law stayed in the room and were there for the whole thing. JD was wonderfully supportive, as he always is, and my in-laws took turns letting me squeeze their hands or rubbing my arm or leg or whatever they could do for me... such as getting more ice chips and whatnot.
We warned the nurse that I had quick labor with my first and that the Doctor hadn't made it into the room last time. So, by the time she checked me and I was almost 8cm dilated (around 4pm) everyone was placing their bets that the baby would be coming in 15 to 30 minutes. When the nurse called the Doctor she told him to come right over and not stop to talk to anyone (his office is across the street from the hospital.) And just when he stepped into the room I had the urge to push!!
I had to breath "who who who" to try to stop from pushing until he got his gloves on, but that urge to push is very hard to stop. When he was pulled up to me and set to go I was already in the midst of another contraction and starting to push. I was still breathing a bit and grunting and he said to stop all noise and breathing to put my energy into pushing the baby out. While we waited for the next contraction to come the Doctor said the baby's heart rate was dropping and if I did it right the baby could come out in the next push. So I concentrated all my energy on getting baby A out (his name starts with an "A"). I knew it there was no time to mess around and ease him out. So with the next push I said in my head, "C'moooon baby A____!" and soon he popped right out with a gush of liquid. My water hadn't even really broken before this point, I had felt a small trickle of water earlier and the Doctor (I think) may have pierced it somewhere in all this commotion, I heard him say something about breaking my water and then saying "her water broke" but I am not sure when all that happened. But no matter, baby A was finally here... at 4:15pm!
He was weighed and we all gasped as the nurse called out "9 pounds 4 ounces!" He was also measured at 20" long. Big boy!! Then the Doctor started stitching me up, he said I tore in a zig zag all over the place and ended up using 4 suture spools! He told me that was due to a few things 1. I had scar tissue from the tears my first baby caused me, which doesn't stretch 2. I had a big baby and 3. I had to get him out fast and didn't have time to ease him out. So, that is the "fun" and painful mess I have to deal with now. But I was happy to finally have my baby boy in my arms.
When KD was brought in to see me and the baby for the first time she was very excited. She wanted to kiss and hug the baby. She looked at me and said, "He came out!" So cute. I had been saying to her for a couple weeks, "Tell your brother he can come out anytime now." So I guess she picked that up from me. I am glad she was so excited and took to him right away.
The next couple days in the hospital I was in a very good mood and was able to get minimal rest throughout the nights, but that was expected... I was happy for any amount of sleep. Baby A has been a very good nurser, just like his big sis KD. He even stayed in his bassinet without crying (KD didn't do that), so between feedings I could have him out of the bed to get some sleep without worrying about him in my bed or trying to hold him while sleeping.
When I was released from the hospital I was very impatient and ready to go home. I had to wait for everything, the nurse to come in and do the papers, the wheelchair to get there to wheel me out, and then JD had a struggle getting the baby's straps tight on his car seat, and I was ready to see KD and have lunch! I got pretty restless at this point. When we finally got home I was happy to see KD run up and greet me and get into the house with Baby A. JD's Dad leaned over to me and asked if I wanted my sandwich (which he had picked up for us for lunch) and I was very eager and said, "Yes! Please... ASAP!" Haha. And so concludes the birth story of my very big boy!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Final Days of Waiting
I am now 39 1/2 weeks into my pregnancy, the baby is due in 5 more days. I am very uncomfortable and ready for this little guy to come out! My first only showed up 1 day before her due date, but I am hoping this baby will show up a few days early. I would like him to come Saturday or Sunday... or even Friday (tomorrow).
Every night is a challenge to sleep, I am very uncomfortable right now. I have insomnia issues most nights, and I can't turn off my brain if there is anything left to prepare before the baby's arrival. I am very emotional as well. There was some drama earlier this week when JD's parents (who live two houses down from us) started telling us that Grandpa wants to be at the hospital waiting for the baby to be born. Which doesn't sound like a big deal, but what made it a big deal to me is that Grandpa is the only person we can count on day or night to be here to take care of KD while we run off to the hospital. Grandma is one of the people that I am going to allow in the delivery room, so she will be running off with me and JD.
So there was one night that I didn't sleep AT ALL! I was upset that the grandparents were making their plans and demands and I just wanted to get tot he hospital and know KD was taken care of. I sent off a long email at 5:30am describing "the plan" for when I went into labor, the times people could be at the hospital, and who would be allowed in the labor and delivery room and when. I also mentioned who would be available to watch KD if it was a work night versus a weekend. Anyways, after that I was told KD is a priority and so am I and all will be taken care of. But then a call similar to the one that made me sleepless all night came again to JD from his Mom. I was pissed at this point. I get it already, JD's Dad wants to be at the hospital waiting for his first grandson to be born.
After crying to a couple people (while JD was out of the house) I called a couple neighbors that are Moms and have watched KD before for several hours. One of them actually offered to help even if it was in the middle of the night/ early morning! This was amazing and such a great relief to me, I can't even tell you. I absolutely trust her with KD and I know KD is very comfortable with her and her kids. So I email JD's Dad and let him know these two ladies could be called to hand off KD to and that the one could even take her in the middle of the night. I just asked that he be the one KD wakes up to. I don't want her waking up in a house without her Mommy and Daddy and a neighbor not a family member. She may need some reassureance that her Mommy is ok and have everything explained about her baby brother being on the way.
So, now that that is all taken care of I feel much better. I don't have to worry if its a work day or a weekend that the baby decides to come, or what time of day. During the work week KD's Uncle wouldn't be able to do much if the time frame ran into the hours he has to be at work. He was the only other person besides Grandpa, who is a family member, that could be here when she wakes up and be a reassurance to her. I know that Grandpa is the go to person for KD and I can rush out the door with JD and Grandma knowing he has people I trust to call once KD is awake to take over watching her.
Now its just the waiting game. Every night I go to bed I wonder if that will be the night. And every time we make a plan to go somewhere or do something I wonder if we will be having a baby instead of making the appointment/ date. Its hard to keep myself busy when I feel so miserable (lots of pressure on my hips and sharp shooting pains in my pelvis when the baby lowers a little bit more...) but if I sit around the house 24 hrs a day it only makes the waiting seem even longer. A pizza/movie party may be in order soon... when we did that when waiting for KD she came the next day! And it was a great way to get my mind off the wait and to hang out with friends.
Every night is a challenge to sleep, I am very uncomfortable right now. I have insomnia issues most nights, and I can't turn off my brain if there is anything left to prepare before the baby's arrival. I am very emotional as well. There was some drama earlier this week when JD's parents (who live two houses down from us) started telling us that Grandpa wants to be at the hospital waiting for the baby to be born. Which doesn't sound like a big deal, but what made it a big deal to me is that Grandpa is the only person we can count on day or night to be here to take care of KD while we run off to the hospital. Grandma is one of the people that I am going to allow in the delivery room, so she will be running off with me and JD.
So there was one night that I didn't sleep AT ALL! I was upset that the grandparents were making their plans and demands and I just wanted to get tot he hospital and know KD was taken care of. I sent off a long email at 5:30am describing "the plan" for when I went into labor, the times people could be at the hospital, and who would be allowed in the labor and delivery room and when. I also mentioned who would be available to watch KD if it was a work night versus a weekend. Anyways, after that I was told KD is a priority and so am I and all will be taken care of. But then a call similar to the one that made me sleepless all night came again to JD from his Mom. I was pissed at this point. I get it already, JD's Dad wants to be at the hospital waiting for his first grandson to be born.
After crying to a couple people (while JD was out of the house) I called a couple neighbors that are Moms and have watched KD before for several hours. One of them actually offered to help even if it was in the middle of the night/ early morning! This was amazing and such a great relief to me, I can't even tell you. I absolutely trust her with KD and I know KD is very comfortable with her and her kids. So I email JD's Dad and let him know these two ladies could be called to hand off KD to and that the one could even take her in the middle of the night. I just asked that he be the one KD wakes up to. I don't want her waking up in a house without her Mommy and Daddy and a neighbor not a family member. She may need some reassureance that her Mommy is ok and have everything explained about her baby brother being on the way.
So, now that that is all taken care of I feel much better. I don't have to worry if its a work day or a weekend that the baby decides to come, or what time of day. During the work week KD's Uncle wouldn't be able to do much if the time frame ran into the hours he has to be at work. He was the only other person besides Grandpa, who is a family member, that could be here when she wakes up and be a reassurance to her. I know that Grandpa is the go to person for KD and I can rush out the door with JD and Grandma knowing he has people I trust to call once KD is awake to take over watching her.
Now its just the waiting game. Every night I go to bed I wonder if that will be the night. And every time we make a plan to go somewhere or do something I wonder if we will be having a baby instead of making the appointment/ date. Its hard to keep myself busy when I feel so miserable (lots of pressure on my hips and sharp shooting pains in my pelvis when the baby lowers a little bit more...) but if I sit around the house 24 hrs a day it only makes the waiting seem even longer. A pizza/movie party may be in order soon... when we did that when waiting for KD she came the next day! And it was a great way to get my mind off the wait and to hang out with friends.
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